Sunday, November 18, 2012

Thankful Day 18

Today I am thankful for the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

It has taken me a little time & a little maturing to get to this place. Ever since my day of salvation, I feel as if God gave me an extra dose of conviction.

As a little girl, I was the kind of kid that you could just "get on to," or tell what I did wrong, & it was enough punishment. I would be so upset w/ myself for letting others down & for doing the wrong thing. I think it's a mixture of my make-up, along with the Holy Spirit in my life, but I just can't live with myself when I'm doing wrong.

This was translated into many different areas in my life. One huge life-changing instance in my life was when I ended a relationship I shouldn't have been in. The guy wasn't a Christian & I knew I shouldn't be dating him, so I finally gave-in to my convictions & prayed that God would make him break up with me. (I could have easily done it, but I didn't want to use the "God wants me to" reason w/ a non-Christian who honestly didn't understand that.) We broke up 2 days later. (I might divulge that story one day, b/c I think a lot of young Christian girls might find themselves in that place at some point in their life.)

It was such a faith & God moment in my life. I went through the normal hard time after a break up, but I also went through a hard time in my relationship with God-realizing that THIS was what it meant to truly follow God. To forget about myself (Rom. 6:6-8) & to follow Him. This was a defining moment in my Christian walk. I remember calling Dustie one night (told you we were friends throughout all my dumb dating relationships) & basically jut needed to whine to someone who understood. He basically just listened to me trying to come to grips with being set-apart. I was mostly whining b/c I wondered why I couldn't just be one of those Christians that was saved just enough to get to Heaven.

Give me a little leeway here y'all; I was very much in the moment & thought I was in the pit of despair. I didn't think God was the "bad guy," I was just mad that what I wanted at the time wasn't what God wanted for me.

So I listened to my convictions (even if it wasn't w/ the best attitude) &, consequently, spent the sweetest relationship time with the Lord directly following His will. Not too long after that, I started dating the greatest man I know, my Dustie Dunn.

Yet another case of God giving me His best for what I thought was better. Like I always say, God proves Himself to me over & over. God is definitely the "good guy." He sees the whole picture. God wants me to have life ABUNDANTLY (John 10:10) while I might end up settling for far less just b/c I like the way it looks at the moment. I give all this glory to God & the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

What once seemed like a nuisance to me, is now what I live my life by. It is my saving grace.

Thank You loving Lord for the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

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