Saturday, August 24, 2013

The Waiting Room

There are small clues, hints, bits, & pieces of this story all throughout my blog since February 2012. But here's the story in its entirety.

It all started in February 2012. Dustie was on one of his treks to Israel. I was in Shreveport staying with my parents (1) so they could help with the boys, (2) because I had to be there everyday for work anyway, (3) but mostly because I'm a "scaredy cat" & don't like staying home alone.

I got a phone call from Dustie. It was one of the first days of his Israel trip. We talked about his day & he told me that he had an awesome quiet time while on a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee. He said the Lord spoke to him & that he wanted me to start praying about what God told him. He said that God told him that He would be moving us from Vivian. 

Being in the ministry, this is not unheard of, but it still caught me off guard. I told D that I would start praying about it...so that's what we did...we prayed.

After talking with the Lord for some time, He also confirmed it in my heart that we would not be in Vivian forever. We prayed, sometimes fasted, & sought the Lord in as many ways as we could. Everything He told us was about waiting on Him & trusting Him. During this time, D sought wise counsel from some of his mentors & we waited & trusted.

On June 25th, we were in the hospital & I just had John earlier that day. I was trying to sleep in the hospital room & D was having his quiet time. D basically asked the Lord in his quiet time if He really told him what He did in Israel, or if he had just made it up because up until this point, not much had changed. Right then the Lord gave him the verse Habakuk 2:3:

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Just to emphasize how awesome this Word from God was, here it is in a different version:

At the time I have decided,
    my words will come true.
You can trust what I say
    about the future.
It may take a long time,
but keep on waiting—
    it will happen! 
(Contemporary English Version)

He woke me up to read the verse to me. I thought it was great! D asked if it would bother me if he watched a podcast on his iPad & I told him no, so he picked a random sermon. As the preacher started, he said, "Today I will be preaching from Habakuk 2:3." WHAAATTT?? (Again, D had to wake me up to tell me of God's goodness & awesomeness. That's not a common verse like John 3:16...that's in dad gum Habakuk!!)

From this point on, it had been confirmed that we were to get a new calling from God, we were in what we started to call, "The Waiting Room." (Based on a series of Steven Furtick's sermons that the Lord gave us during this time as well.) We did not feel led to send a resume out anywhere. Our thinking was that if God wanted to move us, He would make it happen. A couple of D's mentors asked him if they could send his resume to a church or two. With each specific church we prayed about it before consenting. In other instances, churches would contact D out of nowhere (aka...we don't know if or how they got D's resume). We even went as far as an initial interview with one precious church, but after lots of prayer, we did not feel that was where the Lord wanted us to go. (Let me just interject a random thought of how Heaven is gonna be so awesome. I love meeting Christian strangers & immediately feeling the family bond with them solely based on being adopted by God. That's one fantastic thing I took from The Waiting Room.)

This part of the story has been a bit long-winded, but looking back, I can see how each of those instances prepared us for, or confirmed God's message in us what God had for us.

For months & months, we stayed in The Waiting Room. Then, on May 21, 2013, the Lord gave us a different message through my Bible Study in Ruth. He gave us the verses Isaiah 43:18-19:

18 “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

And again in the CEV (just for good measure):

Forget what happened long ago!
    Don’t think about the past.
19 I am creating something new.
    There it is! Do you see it?
I have put roads in deserts,
    streams[a] in thirsty lands.

I immediately texted the verses to D. This was HUGE! This was our first message from God other than, "Trust, Wait, or have faith." God was telling us that it was finally about to happen!!!

I must stop here b/c the next part gets into a new "chapter." God was not kidding. This new thing WAS about to happen, & it "did not tarry!"



Here's a screen shot of mine & D's text convo on May 21, 2013.



Thursday, August 15, 2013

867-5309eeeyine!! or...My Calling

I'll pick up where I left off last time. I was saved that Monday afternoon, went forward during the invitation the following Sunday at church to make my public profession of faith & request baptism. I was then baptized just a couple of weeks later. My whole family was there to support me & celebrate. It was what they prayed for for me since I was born. It was a BIG deal!

I am so thankful for my family, Ministers, Sunday School teachers, Prayer Partner, & Youth friends who invested in my life. They taught me & showed me what it was to be a follower of Christ.

In high school I began to seek a deeper relationship with the Lord. That's when I realized the importance of prayer & being in the Word every day. The summer after my sophomore year in high school changed my life in the most amazing way. I experienced God in the realest way I had ever experienced Him up until that point. (I'll tell that story one day.) That was when I began to sense the Lord's calling on my life.

Around that same time, a couple of friends surrendered to the ministry while we were youth & another friend surrendered to foreign missions. I sought the Lord relentlessly about my calling, but He just wouldn't tell me any details. It was a mystery to me from that point until I was a Junior in college.

One day the Lord finally allowed the scales to fall off of my eyes. After dating my friend Dustie Dunn for a while, we got engaged. I was spending some time with the Lord one day at that point in my life when He finally revealed to me..."hey girl, you're going to marry a preacher. Remember that calling? You're called to the life of ministry & to be a Pastor's Wife." Everything made sense! The way the Lord made me, the way I was raised, the amazing ministers who were (& still are to this day) invested in my life, even the time in which the Lord told me made sense! While I knew I had a specific calling upon my life, I didn't know until just the right time. I can only imagine my craziness & maybe even fear if God had told me as a 16 year-old that I would marry a preacher! 

I couldn't be more thankful for my calling to ministry. It's not always a "precious blessing," but I love serving the Lord in the very place He designed me to serve.

Monday, August 12, 2013

How the New Kids on the Block Led Me To Jesus


Years ago (but not THAT many ;)), my Mom was working on her Master's at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary & she took a Missions class. This class did mission work at the Maritime Center & that's where my Mom met my Filipino Dad who was an engineer on a cruise ship. They fell in love & eloped. Sometime before I was born, they moved to Shreveport.

I was in church probably before the doctor said it was ok to let me go. My family was always active churchgoers, so it didn't surprise anyone when the Holy Spirit started drawing me at the age of seven. I was young & curious & full of questions about salvation & God sacrificing His Son Jesus. I'm sure I drove my Mom crazy with questions!

At the super exciting age of seven I was also very into: my beautiful pink glasses (ask D how beautiful they were...& no, I couldn't see into the future!), my newly pierced ears, jellies of every color (the shoes), side ponytails, my awesome jeans that zipped at the ankle, wearing my socks rolled down, but nothing was as wonderful as the New Kids on the Block & Jordan Knight! :) That year, they had a concert at Hirsch Coliseum & the Best Mom Ever got me tickets to see NKOTB...my very first concert!!

The concert was everything my 7 y/o self could have imagined. As we left the coliseum that night, people were outside passing out tracts to the "heathen" who skipped Sunday night church to attend a concert. Mom politely took the tract, & we left. On the way home I asked lots of questions about the tract & what it was, so we talked more about Salvation & Heaven. The next day, Mom picked me up from school & we headed to pick my Brother up from the nanny's. I saw the tract again, asked more questions, & told my Mom that I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. Right then, my Mom led me in a prayer to tell God that I believe He sent His only Son to earth to miraculously be born of a virgin, that I believe He died on the cross for my sins & came back to life 3 days later, I asked God to forgive me of my sins, give me a home in Heaven, to come into my heart & be my boss forever. It's a miracle that we got to the nanny's house because Mom was bawling while leading me in that prayer. It could not have been safe driving! :)

As soon as we got to the nanny's house to pick up Brother, I couldn't wait to tell her that I asked Jesus into my heart! I've kind of been that way ever since. I love to share & tell others all about what the Lord has done, shown me, or taught me in my life!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Dunn Boy Fun

Here are a few pics of my silly boys. We have had a good, but interesting week. In the midst of all that's going on, D had his last class in New Orleans Tues-Fri. We went to stay with my parents.






I don't have many pics of John because he just wasn't feeling well. If there was anything left inside me that thought I was in charge of things-surely it is gone. We have 2 Sundays left at FBC Vivian & John has a fever of 102.

Thankfully, my Mom has to come to Viv tomorrow, so she's going to keep John so that I can go tomorrow night.

Life is quite the adventure these days!



Thursday, August 8, 2013

Jesus Calling


Today's "Jesus Calling" just completely tops off the ever-increasing sound of the Father's voice. Just the other day I wrote about how God's been speaking to me in EVERYTHING. (I even mentioned how He even spoke to me about how He's speaking to me!) & then there's THIS.

I have NEVER heard the Lord so frequently or as "loudly" as I have over the past year. Yes, I have been purposefully seeking Him, but this isn't the first time. Since February 2012, the Lord's voice has been one long crescendo. It's so undeniable at this moment in my life. It's like God's telling me things, & then retelling me those things, & then telling me that He's telling me things! (Hope you stuck with me for that.)

I do know that I am fantastically blessed to hear God so directly. I have definitely been through times that I have felt as if the Lord wasn't listening or responding, so I'm so very thankful for the blessing to hear straight from Him.

The whole reason I shared this is because of the part that says, "As you learn these lessons, you are to teach them to others." I think that I try to do that. Mostly because I'm crazy excited when the Lord shows me cool stuff I can't help but share. Like today, I was only halfway through my Bible Study when I thought, "I've GOT to tell Dustie all about this!!!" I was literally about to burst! (Just so you know, I restrained myself & finished it & then shared!) My last couple of blogs were totally things that the Lord has taught me lately & I had to write about just because it was the overflow of my heart.

I'm really not a "2-blog-posts-in-one-day" kinda girl (or in one week for that matter), but I mostly wanted to post this for accountability. There are some posts about my life that I've kind of been writing in my head. They are soooo full of evidence of God's power, might, sweetness, provision, strength, & realness. I have been telling y'all I would write them, but I'm almost intimidated that I won't do these stories of the greatness of God justice. 

Today's Jesus Calling devotion meant so much to me. It was more confirmation that all the things I've been hearing from the Lord were definitely on purpose. He meant what He said. It's also the nudge I needed to share what God has taught me & to just testify!

Be looking for:
-My Testimony
-My Calling
-The Waiting Room (the story of just waiting...& mean WAITING on the Lord)
-The story of God leading us to PHBC
-What God is doing now (basically about trust, faith, perseverance, & obedience...& another little waiting room)

These are the things I feel led to share. Tidbits of some of these may be sprinkled throughout my blog. These future posts should give the whole picture.

I truly hope & pray that you, too, are learning things from the Lord and that you have someone to teach & share with!

A Hymn to God the Father

Recently PreacherHubs preached about the depth of Christ's sacrifice for us. He said to imagine a loved one of ours (maybe a child) came to us & said, "I'm in so much trouble. I've racked up some debt & I owe $10,000. If I don't pay them back today, they're gonna take the house, the car, everything! I don't even have money to get the baby some food for dinner tonight! Help please!" So of course, you, as the loving parent & grandparent, do everything you can to help your family member. You take out a second mortgage on your house, you sell 1 car & are now a 1 car family. You give your family member the money to take care of their debt... All to find out a few weeks later they are now in even more debt to the tune of $50,000! While you we're making all those sacrifices to pay their first debt, they were getting credit cards & accumulating more debt than ever! How would you feel then? Would you get them out of that debt too?

The Bible tells us, "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

The outrageousness of this kind of love is shown the story above. While we were sinning, Jesus died for us. EVEN with the knowledge that we were going to continue to rack up even more & more sin "debt," He loves us so much that He still decided to die for us. That, my friends, is the ULTIMATE love.

It really puts sinning into perspective. I think of the song lyrics, "Does He still feel the nails every time I fail?" That hurts my heart. No sin is worth it. 

When I was in high school I was introduced to the poet John Donne. He & I hit it off right away ;) (Fun fact: Little did I know back in my high school days that I would marry a John Dunn, have a father-in-love named John Dunn, & even name a child John Dunn.) We share a love for the Father & the words he penned while talking to the Lord resonate in my soul. This poem is my favorite of his & it's about this very thing. He is deeply mourning the sin he has committed in the past, as well as the fact that he knows he will rack-up more sin debt.

A HYMN TO GOD THE FATHER.
by John Donne


I.
WILT Thou forgive that sin where I begun,
    Which was my sin, though it were done before?
Wilt Thou forgive that sin, through which I run,
    And do run still, though still I do deplore?
        When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
                    For I have more.

II.
Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I have won
    Others to sin, and made my sin their door?
Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I did shun
    A year or two, but wallowed in a score?
        When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
                    For I have more.

III.
I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun
    My last thread, I shall perish on the shore ;
But swear by Thyself, that at my death Thy Son
    Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore ;
        And having done that, Thou hast done ; I fear no more

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Word

"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword, piercing even to the point of dividing soul from spirit, and joints from marrow; it is able to judge the desires and thoughts of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Friends. If you are not in the Word every single day...GET IN IT! Seriously. Even if you just start out by reading a paragraph or two at a time...do it! You are missing incredible revelation, insight, joy, healing, wisdom, conversation with the Lord & so much more!

[Quick run-down of what my Bible Reading & Bible Study look like. (I know it's in another blogpost somewhere.) I read one chapter of the Bible as soon as I wake up (Gen-Rev), I do my Bible Study when I can at work-sometimes lunch (This year I've started a book-by-book Bible Study, but currently I'm doing No Other Gods by Kelly Minter. That's just where the Lord led me.) Then, at some point in the day I read Jesus Calling. (The book stays in our bathroom if that tells you anything. ;)) That's what my time with the Lord looks like at this phase in my life. It has been much more (during my college years) & much less (right after I had my first child). I used to think Bible Reading & Bible Study had to look a certain way, but the Lord delivered me from that kind of thinking. I'm constantly having to reevaluate to figure out what works best for my relationship with the Lord.]

Never more than in the past few months has the Bible been so incredibly ALIVE to me. I have no doubt that every day God speaks to me through each of those moments I give Him & things I read. Lately the Lord has spoken to my heart, to my exact NEED, every day. He's even spoken to me about how He speaks to me! In my Bible Study this past week Kelly Minter describes these moments, "...moments when we have no doubt that God is speaking. Suddenly black & white text becomes a life-transforming revelation in our specific lives in our specific circumstances."

 I'm not gonna lie. In my morning readings I have been in the OLD Testament & we've built that tabernacle, "begat" more people than I can count, wandered in that wilderness, & eaten manna for more days than I can imagine. Basically I'm saying, that I can understand that some parts are not as exciting as others. I'm also saying to keep on! Pray before you read & ask the Lord to speak & reveal Himself to you. At the very least, the Lord will bless your obedience in reading His Word.

I think it's so cool when all three separate sources of the Word will coincide so that the Lord can tell me one thing. I think it's even cooler when the Lord uses the "begats" to drive home that same truth. NONE of what I read from the Bible is in vain. The Bible tells me that His Word never returns void. (Isaiah 55:11) I recently was so very touched by the story of the Israelites wandering & wandering in the desert. It is a story I had read a thousand times & had just finished reading in my morning reading time. But all the sudden one day, it coincided with my No Other Gods study, as well as the "wandering" I felt I had been doing since Feb. 2012, & it meant more to me than it ever had. So even when I'm reading & reading & may not glean from the Word much other than just what it says doesn't mean that I'm doing it for nothing. That passage is getting hidden in my heart and the Holy Spirit is waiting for just the right moment to remind me of it when it can mean SO MUCH MORE than just words.

I have some very specific examples of the way the Word has been used & applied to my life in miraculous ways. I can't wait to tell y'all about each one.



Monday, August 5, 2013

204 West Arkansas

Our home is for sale! It's the perfect starter home. It was love at first sight when we saw our quaint white house with white picket fence. We hope she can find someone who will enjoy her like we have.

2 extra large spacious bedrooms
1 bath
Formal Dining/Office/Bonus Room
Breakfast Nook
Screened-in Porch
1,550 sq. ft.

If you have any questions, would like a tour, or more information:
Call Dustie at 318-773-8194



Living Room




Formal Dining Room / Office / Bonus Room





Breakfast Nook



Kitchen



Master Bedroom



2nd Bedroom



Backyard



Saturday, August 3, 2013

Dear FBC Vivian

A letter from Dustie (read this morning after church):

This past Wednesday night I celebrated 8 years as a Staff member here at First Baptist, and for almost a decade it has been one of the greatest joys and privileges of my life to serve God alongside you here in Vivian.  I have taken great pride in the fact that since 1902 only a couple people have served in this church as long as God has allowed me to.

 

Since 2005, first as Youth and Children’s Pastor and currently as Pastor I have tried to consistently teach you that as a Disciple of Jesus Christ, you must be willing to do whatever is asked of you by the Master…and today I have got to live that out in front  of you.  So, today I place before you with my sincerest gratitude and love my resignation as your pastor.

 

Last Sunday I preached in view of a call at Petal Harvey Baptist Church in Petal, Mississippi.  They extended an invitation, and God has led us to accept that position as their pastor.  In two weeks from Today (on the morning ofAugust 18th) I will preach my last sermon as your pastor.  From there our family will move to Mississippi to begin a new chapter in our service to Jesus.

 

As you hear that…please listen to my heart.  I have never sought to leave this church.  I have never on my own submitted a resume to any other church.  In fact I never put out a resume to Petal Harvey Baptist…They contacted me out of the blue a couple of months ago.  Jenni and I always said that if God was going to move us from here, He was going to have to come get us.  In fact we have declined some invitations in favor of staying here because we felt it to be the will of God.  I am not leaving because I want to, or because I have to, or because I’m mad about something…Those of you who really know me know that if God had not of specifically told me to do this…then we would never be having this discussion.  I was content to be here forever (especially because this is so close to our families…and Mississippi seems like a foreign country).  This is where I first became a pastor, saw my two kids born, and have seen one of the mightiest moves of God that I have ever even heard of.

 

Fleshly speaking there is no reason to leave…I firmly believe that with what God has done here over the last few years and the ministerial staff that He has assembled in my Best Friend and Associate Pastor Bro. Blake / our worship leader Ms. Andrea / and our Children’s minister Stevie Adger --- the brightest days for First Baptist Vivian are on the horizon.  I love First Baptist Vivian with all of my heart…and this calling has not changed that!  Our ministry will always be deeply rooted with this place…Please pray for us and know that you have been and will forever be our family.

 

With deepest Affection

Bro. Dustie

 

_____________


This blog post is pretty much a re-statement of what PreacherHubs announced in church this morning, but longer & with more rabbit-chasing & sappy emotions. :) Since D represents & speaks for our family, I am so thankful I chose a wise Husband. I can always trust him to beautifully say & explain what's on our hearts.

Today D announced just another one of the MANY reasons that Heaven is a place I so look forward to: God calling us away from one church & calling us to another one. 

I've stayed up countless nights just sick to my stomach thinking about telling our precious church FAMILY that we have to leave. I've thought about this blog post a lot. Sometimes I let myself think about it & mentally start writing it, other times I just couldn't bring myself to think about it. 

First of all, I have to say that I am truly excited that the Lord has made His will clear to us. Although I'm doing my best to not be afraid or worried like my God tells me over & over & there are so many unknowns that rock my world, I can stand upon what the Lord has revealed to me & the fact that I ONLY want to be in God's will. I also want to say that this has not come as a surprise. The Lord had been preparing me for a year and a half. (My blog has alluded to it here & there. I will tell the story of this crazy, amazing, God-filled journey in another post.) All that being said, I am heartbroken to move away from this precious family & fellowship that our lives are so intertwined in. 

For some in ministry, getting called away from the church they are serving in is a relief, something they look forward to. I am so thankful to say that for the 2 times that has happened, that has definitely not been the case. When D & I were called away from Colfax Baptist Church, it was something that we & the entire church knew was coming at the close of our college graduation b/c D needed a full-time position, & needed to go to seminary. This time, getting called away is a totally different animal. 

Please know that we are still very much in love with the amazing people at FBC Vivian. These people are the ones we do life with & we LOVE it. They have been our family for the past 8 years. My best friends are here. My prayer partners are here. My hilariously "tweetable," Bible-wise SS teachers are here. Mine & D's accountability partners are here. Jax's future wife is here. :) My boys' MDO teachers, SS teachers, & nursery ladies are here. This is the only church family my children know.

From meeting Vivian's awesome search committee, [(who are some of our closest friends) & calling my Mom just devastated b/c I already loved them :), but was just SURE God was NOT going to send us to some town named Vivian] to giving in to the Holy Spirit's unrelenting call to follow Him to this church, FBC Vivian stole my heart.

They called us to the church for Youth & Children. Little did we know that only 3 years later, they would take a leap of faith & ask a "kid" to fill in as Interim Preacher & later to be Pastor of the entire church. FBC Vivian allowed the Holy Spirit to have His way by calling Dustie as Pastor. Because of that obedience, the Lord has rewarded His church mightily in salvations, baptisms, making disciples, making ministers, making missionaries, & by the church just being an exciting & wonderful place to be! 

Leaving Vivian was not something we sought out. The Lord stirred our hearts over a year ago. He told us that He was going to send us somewhere else. D was having a quiet time in Israel on the Sea of Galilee when the Lord told him. He called me later that day to tell me that I needed to pray about this. D & I have been on our knees ever since. We have been in a perpetual "Waiting Room" since February of 2012. Not once did D send his resume out. But a few different churches have contacted us. After much prayer in each circumstance, none of those seemed to be what the Lord had for us. I won't lie, other than wondering what God's plan was, I was perfectly content to wait because I was so happy here. 

Outside of the call of God, we would be crazy to leave. FBCV has been growing & making disciples non-stop. God has done incredible things in & through His church & shows no signs of stopping. It has been a church on fire & hungry for the Lord. It's a Preacher Family's dream!

D told me something he was told recently: A preacher leaving a church in accordance with the will of God is the best thing for the church he's leaving & the best thing for the church God is sending him. For us to stay would put us, as well as the church, out of the Lord's will. That goes against everything we have tried to teach & live out throughout our ministry. We will trust & obey the Lord & what He has made so perfectly clear to us. 

Thank you my precious FBCV family for your love & for doing life with us & making the past 8 years some of the best. Love you all.

Friday, August 2, 2013

The More I Seek You, the More I Find You...& Me

This post was actually intermingled with the previous one about Comet, but it was just a jumbled up mess, so I've tried to separate the two. (It's still a mess of emotion, way too many thoughts, & a brain that needs to go to sleep. But I felt passionately about it last night, so I will share.) 
Comet's death was kind of a catalyst to a lot of thinking & reflecting (well, more than usual). 

I snuck off alone late last night so that I could just take a second to let myself think about & deal with what happened. (& do the "ugly cry" that I had been keeping at bay) I lay in bed last night just thinking & for some reason, was overwhelmed by a feeling of homesickness. But it wasn't a homesick that's curable by going to my parents' house, it was more like a homesick for my childhood. It's as if Comet was one last bit of what resembled my childhood & now that's gone.

Some of you may be reading this & thinking I've lost it, or that he's just a dog, but it's about so much more than Comet.

There are so very many changes happening in my life right now & it's like Comet's death stopped me in my tracks & made me slow down to think, process, & deal with emotions I've swallowed & pushed down for a while now.

As I took time to think about all that happened that day, I remembered some of my actions & reactions & I thought, "Why in the world am I the way I am?!" I've been pushing myself to seek the Lord more intimately than ever this year. Each day I pray specifically for the Lord to reveal Himself to me in a new way. You know what? If you seek Him, you WILL find Him! (Jer. 29:13) It's true!! I've always found that to be true, but recently I've also found that when I seek to know the Lord more, I end up learning about myself more.

You would think that after 30 years, I would know myself! :)

Well, here are some things I've learned about myself lately:

1-I'm much more introverted than I thought. It's surprising b/c I'm pretty outgoing, not shy, love people, love spending time w/ people, but I've come to learn how very important it is for my well-being to make time for me to be alone & in quiet & with the Lord. I get so energized & healed by that time. 
(Last night was an example of me not taking time alone & really needing it. I took a couple of hours after bed time to kind of "fall apart" & allow the Lord to heal me & apply His balm.)

2-I'm super emotional. I have more emotion than I know what to do with...so I'm so awkward. The basic gist of this is old news. I can tear up, or cry at the drop of a hat-especially when it comes to worshiping the Lord (cry every Sunday!). That's the normal part of my emotional-ness.

3-I'm basically a "loner" when It comest to showing emotion. I'm pretty much just emotional to myself. Outside of certain settings (prayer groups, closest friends, or family) I'm not gonna share my emotions. I'm not a touchy-feely, "lets talk about our feelings" kinda girl!

4-Another facet of my emotions is that I push them to the back of my mind, or bottle them up, until I'm ready to deal, or I burst b/c there's no more room for the emotion. (Again, kinda what happened last night.)

5-The craziest thing about my emotions is that they sometimes show up in the wrong form. I get mad sometimes when I'm actually sad. But mostly, I laugh at inappropriate times. I laugh when I'm nervous, or upset, or when I just have too much emotion running around inside. Mighty fine trait for a Pastor's Wife don'tchyathink?! I'm tellin ya, the Lord uses me IN SPITE OF ME! (Yesterday when Mom called me crying, she told me "Ca" wasn't doing well. I just told her I didn't want to talk about it. I was pulling up to her house at that point & was preparing myself to go in & face my sad family & I just start giggling & have to wait & make myself stop & chill out before going inside.)

These are just a few things about me that have been revealed to me recently.

As for knowing the Lord more...He shows me VAST amounts everyday. Seriously, I can give very specific evidence probably everyday of how He shows me His might, power, will, grace, goodness, gentleness, sweetness, love. I look forward to sharing lots of them with you!

We'll Celebrate the Day We Met Him

(This was written last night-August 2nd.).

As D has fallen asleep, I run to another room to journal. (Prayer journal. Think: kinda like my blog, but I unashamedly & probably not so eloquently spill my guts in there. It's one of my favorite ways to talk to the Lord.) Other than a few minutes here & there, this is my first time to be alone today.

I just poured my craziness out to the Lord & really just feel like blogging a little about it here. It's probably going to come out as stream-of-consciousness.

So much is going on in my crazy life lately. Today we added to that list. My 2nd childhood dog (Comet) went to Heaven. My family had 2 dogs when I was growing up. One, Prancer, was sort of my dog (until I moved away for college-then he kinda became Chris'). He was a Shih tzu & lived for a good long time. He died a few years ago. Comet was Brother's dog & I was against having him from the beginning. (I think b/c I didn't want Prancer to be sad...idk, I was young.) Because of that, I was determined early on not to be too close to Comet. I did pretty good...up until I graduated from college & started working for my family's business. I reluctantly realized that I loved the sweetest dog ever...& probably did all along.

Comet was 14.5. I've noticed over the past few months that he was aging quickly (I probably spent the most time with him lately since I'm always with him at the office.) Today was his time to go to Heaven. 

Other than tearing up when Jax cried a little & told me, "I'm gonna miss Puppy," I haven't allowed myself to think about it.
I tried to keep things light for the boys, the rest of my family, & the fact that if I did let myself cry, it would probably be an "ugly cry." 

Jax said it best when we were talking about Comet going to Heaven. He said with all 4 years of wisdom, "We'll celebrate the day we met him!" I have no idea where that came from. I'm sure some cartoon...but my little boy showed me such precious child-like faith. Yes, we will celebrate the day we met Comet.