Monday, May 6, 2013

Right Now

One of the things I've been working on with my accountability partners is to be thankful where I am right now, live in this moment instead of living for a future time (when life slows down, the boys are a little older, after we stop going out of town...).
I must say, this is much easier said than done. Sadly, it's become a habit of mine to live like that, & I definitely do NOT want to wish my life away. I've gotten a LITTLE better since having children, but it definitely must be INTENTIONAL.

Lately, I've almost been able to see my life as an outsider. I see just how incredibly blessed I am. I see a beautifully chaotic life filled with love. I see trials & tribulations, but I can almost see them through my Father's eyes, so that I can look beyond them & see the beauty in my life those trials will create. I am in awe of my life RIGHT NOW.

Did y'all hear me? This is big. I love my life RIGHT NOW! No, we didn't win the lottery, or hire a maid, & I didn't retire. This is the same life I've had (maybe even more rocky & trial-filled at the moment) & I couldn't be happier!

Here's a very honest look at my RIGHT NOW:

Right now I'm in my old bedroom at my parent's house. I just put John to sleep & Jax is sleeping with my parents. We're staying here because D is out of town for a Board meeting. We have been hopping in & out of town for the past few weeks, & the next few weeks don't show much change.

Right now, my job is getting crazier and my desk is getting inundated as the Summer warns that it's on its way.

Right now, D & I are seeking God's will & answer for a lot of things & have been waiting (& continue to) on the Lord for about a year-and-a-half.

Right now, Jax will turn 4 in about a month. He finally learned to write his name, his vocabulary amazes me, & he is so incredibly creative. He says things like, "Oh mercy!" or "Thank you, that is SO sweet!" or "Oh, baloney sausage!" because he spends a vast amount of time with senior adults. He can be the most stubborn/hard-headed child in one moment & the most sensitive & caring one in the next. Most of the time, he's the typical 3-4 year old, but sometimes his prayers & spiritual inclination blow me away. [Ex-praying for God's sword & shield & helmet (armor of God) to protect us from the Devil.] God teaches me about Himself through my child frequently.

Right now, John has been pulling up & is now starting to stand without pulling up on something. He will start walking any day. He is starting to get his 2 top teeth in (he's only had his front bottom 2 for months). He loves milk & baby cheese puffs. His favorite song is, "Jesus Loves Me." His favorite games are, "Peek-a-Boo" & dropping things just so he can say, "Uh-oh!" (& so you can pick them up for him over & over!) He has finally earned his own song (Jesus Loves Me) & prayer (*hands together*, "I love You Jesus. Amen.") during our family worship time. He's finally saying, "Mama" even when he's not whining or crying & he will turn ONE next month! (You better believe I'm clinging to THIS "right now.")

Right now, I am more in love with my Husband than I've ever been. (He's looking hotter than he's ever looked! Ha!) But in all seriousness, his outward transformation is merely the embodiment of all the great things God has/is doing in his life. Like I tell him-I married him on purpose. I knew he was a good man. He's always been a good husband, but with him allowing God to move in his life, he's a GREAT husband. He handles a ridiculously overflowing plate of responsibility with seeming ease & grace. He is the opposite of complacency in all areas of his life. I love doing life with him.

Right now my life looks like:
-overfilled calendars
-days of hours in the car
-dates with my husband
-family fun outings
-stained shirts from babies wiping their hands, mouths, & noses (gasp) on me & trying to cover the stains with necklaces & accessories & pull it off as "fashion"
-sleeping as a family of 5 (that's counting the Dog...simmer down) in the same bedroom under a starry sky that can change colors-lit by a Dreamlite

Right now, so many things are far from perfect, but at the very same time, things are entirely better than I could ever imagine. Right now, I am so thankful to live life truly abundantly!

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