Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What's God up to?

My brain has been in overdrive. I don't even know where to begin in writing this post. God has been showing me something lately. The thing is that I know He is not finished. All I know is what I have learned so far. I will do my best to organize my thoughts...

I have always felt like the Lord deals with me in "themes." Like throughout different periods of life, everything I do (my Bible Study, my books I'm reading, my thoughts...) points to a common theme. Sometimes the theme can last a few days, sometimes it can last years. For at least 2 years in college the theme was to learn to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and body. After that, during Senior Year of college the theme was very much about trusting God. At this time I was learning to trust Him with His plans for the church we were currently serving in, with all the craziness our college was going through, with finding us a church to serve at & a home...all before we had to move out of the director's apartment at LC. The next big theme came up about a year after graduation when our church was going through a time of sifting. So much went on during that time: members left, the preacher left, D became interim, D became Pastor & so much more, but that would require me to write a book so we'll just stick with the basics. The theme at that point in my life was that God is Emmanuel-God with us. Recently, God has been teaching me, showing me, telling me to, "Decrease myself, so that He may be increased." I know that theme is not finished because I have only just begun to hear Him on this one, but lately I just feel like He has so much to say to me.

For the past couple of weeks, everywhere I turn, I hear about the death of a child, loss of a baby, or a miscarriage. It's really getting to me. I have developed such a compassion for the mothers and families of these children. The thing is that it has surrounded me so much lately that I have to ask God-what are You showing me? What do You have to teach me? I don't know if it is because I have a child now, but just the thought of this speaks to me in so many ways.

The other day I asked God to reveal Himself to me in a new way. I'm incredibly excited because I know God is answering this. He never leaves me. He is always there waiting to teach me things...if only I would always have my eyes open. If I would just stay in waiting.

I feel like all that God is showing me now is an answer to my request. (Showing me through the things that I am reading, experiences, EVERYTHING!) So far I have realized, more so than ever, just what a sacrifice God made by sending His only Son to Earth just so he could die for me. He loved me that much! He loved you that much! As December begins, I want to make a point to celebrate Jesus' birth, the reason He came and God's sacrifice every single day. I want to do my very best to have my eyes open to my Father. I don't want to miss a thing.

Thank You my Father for all of my blessings, for Jesus as my example, for my life with You eternally that Jesus' death provides & for making the ultimate sacrifice because of the love that You have for me.


  1. This blogging to God, it's really awesome, isn't it? :)

    I loved this, Jen. It will be exciting to see what God is doing over the next...however long.

  2. Beautifully said. I have been wrestling with the Lord over alot of the same things. For instance, would I be willing to give MY daughter so that someone would come to the Lord, just as God gave us His son? We would have GOOD conversation over this, I'm sure. Love you and love your heart for our Lord. God is good. :)